21 December, 2010

Famous Faces

Ever have one of those days when people on the street all look like famous people?  A Michael Douglas here, a Cameron Diaz there.  No?  Really?  Well, I do.

And  from time to time I get people checking out my profile that look alarmingly famous.  Fortunately, I’m not a star-fucker.  Which is to say, I’ve never shagged a bona fide A-lister, and as the years roll by, my chances of doing so are growing increasingly slim.  Unless, you know, it’s someone way past their prime, like John Voight.  Wow.  I just had an image of being Angelina Jolie’s step-mother.  Wouldn’t that be awkward!  Especially at Christmas when, after a few too many egg nogs,  I tried to hit on her husband.   “Angie baby, get Momma another brandy will ya? There’s a good girl.  Quick, Brad, there’s something I have to tell you.  Let’s just nip into this bathroom…why am I locking the door?  Er, because I don’t want anyone else to hear the amazing, er,  secret…”

But I digress.  Ahem.  Below, feast your eyes on a rogues gallery of famous looking fellas.

You bet your life!

When I was 12, I had a crush on Groucho Marx.  I know, that’s weird.  But even a girlish yearning for the funny man couldn’t make me go on a date with this guy.  Actually, he looks a bit like Steve Martin in the ghastly remake of The Pink Panther too.


Back in the 80s, there wasn’t a woman alive who woudn’t have given her pinky finger for a romantic evening with bad boy Mickey Rourke.  You just knew he’d be dirty as hell.  This guy’s counting on that, except that dude, it’s 2010.  Time for a new look my friend.


If you don’t know who Alan Partridge is, you should.  And as much as I adore him, you wouldn’t catch me at a travel tavern with this fellow.  Or an owl farm either.  Back of the net!

"Give me your clothes, asshole"

Look, Schwartzenegger he ain't, but I couldn't resist adding this in, because dude clearly thinks that showing pictures of his biceps is going to have us ladies swooning in the aisles.  He's got a lovely shiny coat of shoulder hair too.  Rrrrow!

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