16 March, 2011

The Vibe

Let's talk about the vibe.  The vibe is the feeling you get when someone wants to shag you.  Or at least, take you out back and fool around a bit.  My ex-husband once said "if you're ever getting the vibe from a guy, and you're not sure if he's actually interested, I assure you, he is."  That stayed with me.  As opposed to the husband.

So I'm getting the vibe from a guy I work with which is most unpleasant.  We had a discussion by email about Facebook Connect.  I wrote something and called it "FB connect".  He came back with "Does it bother you that FB has the same initials as a certain kind of buddy?"

Then, I said something in an unrelated email like "Fuck me.  That's a disaster!"  To which he replied "I take it that was an exclamation and not an invitation?"  There's been knowing looks, unaccountable desk-loitering, and muttered comments in the kitchen.  Compliments on apparel and a variety of other unmentionable mentionings, including a rather casual invitation to a house-warming.  Although I'm slightly worried that I might be the only guest - a la Sunset Boulevard.

The vibe in action.

Now, this is just not cool.  Apart from the fact that he's married, he's also jaw-droppingly unattractive.  I may be single, and hell, let's face it, I might even be considered a bit of a slut in some circles.  But I'm not easy. And as should be apparent by now, I'm rather discerning.  I'm certainly not going to be banging someone's husband.  Well, not unless it's Angelina Jolie's or Vanessa Paradis' anyway.

Personally, I'm rather obvious with the vibe.  And I can assure you its electric massage-fingers have not been waving at him.  I do wish he'd stop.  Otherwise there may have to be Stern Words.  And those words might include the expression "Sexual Harassment Suit".  Which should put him off his game for a week or two at least, I daresay.  I'll keep you posted of eventualities.


  1. Oh my darling, I confer on you a Sluthood, the modern inversion of chivalry for the woman who knows what she wants ...

  2. It's an honour! I am humbled and grateful.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.