04 May, 2011

God botherers

There seems to be an awful lot of religious bollocks flying around right now.  I mean, on one hand you've got christians shouting "burn in hell Bin Laden!" and on the other you've got extremist muslims shouting "enjoy your 72 virgins, matyr!"  You know I'm pretty into the science thing.  So it seems as good a time as any to declare that I am both:

a) an atheist, and
b) frustrated by religious wankers.

So this dating website I'm on is kinda neat.  You answer tons of questions, and it rates you against potential suitors for compatibility.  Now, it's got various categories, and amongst them, are religion, ethics, and other cool stuff like that.

There's a pervasive theme I've noticed.

Religious people are stupid.

I'm talking about your bona fide hard-worshippin', bible-thumpin' born-agains.  I had one recently, that epitomises the genre.  Here's some of the questions, and here's how he answered.  Let's, for argument's sake, call him Judas.

"Is the earth bigger than the sun?"

Me:  No.
Judas:  Yes.

Also, the earth is the centre of the universe, and cavemen ran around with dinosaurs, just like in The Flintstones.  Got a headache?  Here! Try these leeches!

"Are clams alive?"

Me:  Yes, obviously.
Judas:  No.

How do you figure clams aren't alive?  What are they, rocks?

"Is contraception morally wrong?"

Me:  No
Judas:  Yes, always.

Nothing says douchebag like a man who won't put a raincoat on it.  After all kids, we all know that condoms aren't just about stopping us ladies getting knocked up, they can protect us from a whole host of nasties.  Unfortunately, it appears they can't protect us from fucktards.

Give me your money!  Go on, you can trust me!

Now Judas was very persistant.  Even when I told him I was a bleeding heart liberal, who lived on the other side of the planet, and I thought his view of the world was misogynist, medieval, and blood-boilingly selfish. He was the one, in fact, who insisted that I should continue to correspond with him because he found me attractive.  Obviously, my thoughts on the matter were of no importance.  Douche.

Now I'm not against religion, per se. To quote Ghandi (via my hero, Ricky Gervais) "I like your Christ, I just don't like your christians.  Your christians are so unlike your Christ".

Now before all you fundamentalists get all angry and uppity, let me say this:  I uphold the ethics of most religions. I give to charity.  I believe that forgiveness is better than vengeance, and I treat other people as I'd like to be treated.  So fuck off.

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