26 April, 2012

Flight 101 to misery

My one true love.
So last weekend I flew to Sydney to spend time with my dog and a very nice bloke I know.  Here's a picture of him (the dog, not the bloke).  He's possibly the love of my life.  Anyway, I was on the plane next to a couple. 

They were in their late-twenties; she was cute, blonde and perky, he was lanky, broad and an utter wang-jacket.  You see, he wouldn't turn off his fucking iPhone. 

I don't know what it is about people who willfully put the lives of others at risk for the sake of checking their Facebook status, but it really pisses me off.  Here's how it unfolded.

Flight Attendant:  Sir, you'll have to turn your phone off now please.
Wang-Jacket:  Yeah yeah, I will.
FA:  No sir, you need to turn it off now.
[Wang-Jacket ignores her and keeps tapping away.]
FA:  Right now.
[Wang-Jacket hits the button on his iPhone that puts it into sleep mode, but doesn't turn it off.]
FA:  I'm sorry, but you have to turn it right off, not just put it on power-save.
WJ [rolls eyes]: It is off.  See.  It's off.  No picture.  All turned off.  [lets out a frustrated sigh]
FA: Hm.  Thank you.

A minute later, WJ turns to his girlfriend and says "Man, was she a bitch. Fucking cow.  Where does she get off?  That was so rude."

His girlfriend, clearly embarassed says meekly, "well, you should have turned it off." He said "What's your problem?"  She shut her pie-hole.

I wish, at the end of the flight, I'd said "Is that your boyfriend?  Because you could do much, much better."  But I didn't. 

Anyway, the moral of the story is: it's better to have no man at all than a fucking dickwad for a boyfriend.

Assume crash positions.

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