11 April, 2012

Friends of friends

If you're a racist, you should
probably stop reading now.
And fuck off while you're at it.
So you know Facebook right?  The site that everyone hates, but obsessively checks every five minutes in case they got a "like" for the picture of their squalling child?  Well, I had a very odd experience there last week.

The story unfolded one evening, when a friend of mine posted a cut-and-paste outrage-status about the Australian Government changing ANZAC Day* ceremonies because they were offensive to immigrants.  Now before I go any further, I would like to categorically state that the Government is doing no such thing.  Australians are really tetchy about the ANZACS, we're the only nation that celebrates the days we got our arses soundly kicked.  But back to the story.

In order to put a stop to what was quickly turning into a stream of racist invective by the terminally stupid, I commented on her status that it wasn't true, and there was nothing to fear, and could everyone just chill the fuck out.

Well well well.  Never mess with the KKK.

Before you could say "White Supremacist" there was a torrent of abuse headed my direction at warp speed.  One fellow was particularly enthusiastic, we'll call him Pauline Hanson, although I am tempted to out him.  He called me a drunk, an idiot and a liar. He said I was blind and ignorant. He suggested I should get the vibrator out because clearly I was in need of a good shagging.  His cronies joined in, speculating on the kind of person I must be, and how they were really glad I wasn't their friend, a sentiment, I assure you dear readers, was entirely reciprocated. 

Later that night Pauline posted on my wall "hey [DFF],want my phone number♥"

Naturally, I ignored him.  Then, the next day, this little gem appeared in my inbox.

"Hey [DFF],why not come to [wang-jacket's town],ya wild little thang,and i,ll debate ya all nite long,while ya pull on ur own hair in ecstacy..mwah,princess.

Oh,u can leave ur shoes on so long as uve got the matching stockings and suspenders."
How does get fucked sound, douchebag?  This message sums up the man rather well.  Why, just the spelling and grammar, and appalling use of spaces and punctuation say volumes. What's worse, it put an ugly image in my mind that only a quarter of a bottle of really good tequila and sixteen hours of Doctor Who could remove.
Needless to say, he is now blocked.  I did share his message with our mutual friend though.  She was suitably mortified, the poor girl.  But really, one must choose ones friends carefully.
Having said that, Dead Fish Floats loves everyone on Facebook, so you know that little blue "like" link on the right?  Click it.  Go on, I dare you.  I double dare you.

*For my international friends, ANZAC Day is a public holiday where we remember our war dead, and honour the memory of the fallen.  It's on the anniversary of the battle of Gallipoli in WW1, where the British sent thousands of Australian and New Zealander men to their death in a blood bath of unprecedented ferocity.  Think the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan times ten.  The final tally of dead, missing and wounded was almost 5,000.  It is also the day we have one of the best Australian Rules Football games - Essendon vs Collingwood.  Interestingly, the mascot for Essendon is "The Bombers", which has far more sinister meaning since the war on "terrorism".

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